If someone would’ve paid me to stay at home, with a cabinet stocked with snacks and access to unlimited WiFi, I would capital shout YES and mistake them for a fairy godmother. But here I am in 2020, finding myself in a precarious situation, where I am paid to be at home, only to be expected to do actual, productive work? Now I don’t know about y’all but working in the same room that has a bed and a fuzzy blanket in it, honestly sounds nothing less than torture. And obviously despite all the ‘working from home’, being at home gives you plenty of opportunities to do things that make you happy. And for me that is 90’s Hindi cinema.
It instantly makes me nostalgic of a time where everyone dressed questionably, celebrated birthday parties with pineapple cake and chips which would end in some kid or the other in the centre of a circle all the other kids formed, performing to the most popular Hindi song of the year.
So I decided to spice my quarantine and re-watched some old 90’s classic Bollywood movies and it instantly filled my heart…with disgust.
Yes, many woke feminists have pointed the obvious glaring problems with Bollywood back then, but it’s one thing to hear it and one thing to see Karisma Kapoor from Biwi No.1 dance to ‘Haye Haye Mirchi’ to lure her good-for-nothing husband back to her, instead of suing him for infidelity and fraud! PAINFUL.
And as I went from one problematic 90’s favourite to another, my bubbles kept popping and let’s just say it’s gonna take me a good minute to recover from the mental cringe-fest I subjected myself through. And now I’m going to put you through the same misery, here are all our beloved movies from the 90’s that need some serious fixing-
1. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Well, Rahul is a cheater and Anjali should’ve known better. Re-watching this made me realise how Rahul fell for Anjali only because she didn’t look as ‘jhalli’ as she did back in college. Honestly, Rahul didn’t deserve Anjali even before the glow up.
2. Hum Saath Saath Hai
Preeti took the term ‘family doctor’ a bit too seriously. There is an actual dialogue in this movie that talks about how a family is bound to be happy if the wives and the daughters of the house cook nice meals for everyone. WOW. Looks like Preeti’s medical degree was used to fry the pakodas that came out the fryer. Big disappointment.
3. Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander
Sanju can’t call Devika out for being a gold digger when he literally adopted a fake identity to woo her. Stop villainizing the women, when the men are equally at fault.
4. Hum Aapke Hain Koun
Don’t know what was more problematic, Nisha’s parents wanting her to marry her late sister’s husband thereby sacrificing their daughter’s life or the fact that a dog had to come to her rescue.
5. Biwi No. 1
Pooja, what is this behaviour?
6. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Don’t marry someone just because they look good. Talk to them, get to know them, find out about any former lovers in Italy before you make the decision.
7. Pyaar Kiya Toh Darna Kya
You might call her ‘bacchi’ but she’s legally an adult now. Bhaiya, you gotta chill a little.
Looks like I’ll never be able to look at these movies the same way I once did, and neither should you.
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