Hate it, love it, you're going to discuss it - that's what Bollywood is in this country. When the trailer of Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives dropped on Netflix and I heard Sohail Khan's wife Seema Khan talk about how she "ocassionally" DMs Kim Kardashian, I knew this was going to be another cringe-fest coming my way. Thankfully, I was prepared!
1.
I am being hundred per cent honest when I say this - It took me 2 whole episodes to finally be able to tell these Bollywood wives apart because they all look the same? No?
2.
What is up with Neelam Kothari's accent? Girl, why are you talking like that? The least she could have done is gone to an accent coach and perfected that obviously fake accent!
3
If someone could just explain to me why, Maheep Sandhu, claims to have problems understanding basic Hindi?? Angrez chaley gaye, Maheep ko bhool gaye..
4.
One episode down - and so far, Maheep Kapoor's house help Rekha is the most tolerable person on this show. Also Rekha did not deserve to be shamed for mistaking 'LE BAL' as 'BELLY DANCING'
5.
Sanjay Kapoor is such a DAD. I love it!
Just feel bad the poor guy tripped in front of people at the Le Bal rehearsal, oh nooooo!
6.
Guys, the Bollywood Wives went for a beach clean up because they care about the environment and here's what Seema Khan (Sohail Khan's wife) said - "I found a lot of milk packets at the beach. I think people should just go dairy free."
That's such a rich people thing to say I can't even...
7.
Episode 3 has Karan Johar taking the Wives out for lunch except it feels more like a Koffee With Karan episode, if Karan didn't have to care about the 'image' and 'reputation' of his show.
8.
Did KJo just call Maheep a 'crazy' and 'obsessive' mother?? Um, sir, have you seen your own Instagram???
9.
Maheep Kapoor is a literal stalker who owns not one, but TWO, pairs of binoculars. And everyone is casually joking about it like it's NBD? Are you guys okay???
10.
Somebody tell these Bollywood people that English-speaking Indian person actually uses the word "ain't" out loud!!!
11.
Sameer Soni, Chunky Pandey, Sohail Khan.. it's like a Farah Khan film but for all the nobodies of Bollywood.
12.
This show is very obviously badly scripted..or so it seems.
13.
The N word has been uttered! By a Kapoor (Sanjay) - who would have thought?
Sanjay deserves brownie points for referencing the Ananya-Siddhant Chaturvedi meme about 'struggle.'
14.
Neelam is going around asking literally every single person she meets about whether or not she should make a Bollywood comeback. Girl, I saw you read that script in the first couple of episodes and take it from me - DON'T.
15.
Seema Khan gives me such Pooja Misra from Bigg Boss vibes.
16.
But Bhavana Pandey (wife of Chunky Pandey) has my heart. She's clearly the most sensible of the lot who doesn't want any unnecessary drama.. I wonder why she agreed to the show.
In Seema vs Bhavana, I'm Team Bhavana.
17.
I don't mean to say that the Bollywood Wives are trying too hard but there is a scene where Shanaya and Maheep are dressed AF for a basic lunch with Jahnvi, who is sitting there in the simplest pair of shorts and a tank top..
18.
I can't believe that Kylie Jenner actually wished Janhvi Kapoor on the latter's birthday..I...what?? How??
BTW, a friend and I did some digging and the text on that video of Kylie reads, "When your bf w Kylie but he still thinking about you."
19.
i totally feel for Sameer Soni. If I had to forcibly hang out with these Bollywood Wives, I would be abruptly abandoning dinners too!
20.
Why do I have to watch Neelam Kothari's face get injected with fillers? I didn't sign up for this.
21.
Alternate Title - The Fabulous Lives of Irrelevant Bollywood Wives
(I'm sorry but it's true!)
(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)