The Lines Aziz Ansari Did & Did Not Cross: Arguing from Both Sides

Will one side end up convincing the other? Or will both sides try to shame each other into silence?

Analysing the Aziz Ansari episode through two points of view.

(Photo: Erum Gaur/The Quint)

An encounter between a woman, who goes by the pseudonym, ‘Grace’, with Aziz Ansari, published on Babe.net has unveiled an unpalatable image of the actor and comedian.

While some argue that Ansari violated and assaulted Grace by choosing to “ignore” her discomfort, others say that Grace did not assert her stance conspicuously enough for Ansari to know. The latter maintain that Aziz is not a “mind reader,” and that while those reading the Babe report have access to Grace’s thoughts and feelings, Ansari had no way of knowing how Grace truly felt without her saying it out loud.

There are different perspectives on other aspects of this incident as well. Many believe that this episode deserves to be placed within the #MeToo bracket because the purpose of MeToo is to shed light on how we have normalised the sexual discomfort that woman are often put through.

Some argue that this episode should not be clubbed together with cases of abuse and deliberate exploitation by men in power. The logic behind this argument is that Aziz Ansari is not another Harvey Weinstein. He could not have impacted Grace’s career in any way and hence did not hold that kind of authority over her. By tagging the incident thus, we are trivialising the #MeToo campaign.

This Aziz Ansari controversy has also shed light on the faults in the society and the socio-sexual dynamics between men and women. It is hard to decide who is more to blame: the man or the society. Is Ansari’s entitled behaviour responsible for Grace’s agony? Or is it the culture that Grace and Aziz and most of us have been brought up in that has contributed to her silence and subsequently, her suffering? Or is it both?

There may not always be clear, objective answers – since each of our opinions are influenced by our personal experiences and understanding of society. However, it is important to hear the other side out, without attempting to shame the speaker into silence for seeing things differently.

It is important to listen to different arguments because it helps understand the society, as well as the issue at hand better. It is imperative to let the conversation around consent grow as loud and clear as possible.

Cameraperson: Shiv Kumar Maurya
Editor: Purnendu Pritam

(We Indians have much to talk about these days. But what would you tell India if you had the chance? Pick up the phone and write or record your Letter To India. Don’t be silent, tell her how you feel. Mail us your letter at [e-mail]. We’ll make sure India gets your message.)