Utsav & Other ‘Woke’ Bros: Here’s How Not to Sext Like A Predator

Dear ‘woke’ bros, here is a short lesson on how to sext without being a predator. And yes, ‘nopologies’ don’t matter

The #MeToo movement has had a domino effect, with many women coming out with their stories.

(Photo: Kamran Akhter/The Quint)

Women are calling out predators all over, and it’s exhilarating to say the least. Comedians, journalists, artists are among many of the ‘woke’ bros who have been accused by women, with proof, not that it should matter, but sadly it does.

Most prominently, Utsav Chakraborty, a comedian and YouTuber, was called out for sending unsolicited pictures of his genitals to many girls, some of them underaged. And just being an all-round creep with how he approached them.

His ‘nopology’ on Twitter said he did it because “in his head, he was being upfront”! Yeah, right! Another part of the flimsy explanation/ ‘apology’ read that the unsolicited d*ck pics he sent was not his own but from the internet. Bravo!

A new #MeToo movement has taken over Twitter.(Photo: iStock)

What started from this calling out was a new #MeToo movement that has taken over Twitter in the past few days. Women are naming and shaming sexual predators, and that is inspiring more and more women to chime in with their experiences.

Another excuse that another guy getting called out, Anurag Verma, a social media personality and former Huffpost employee, gave was that the references to ‘send nudes’ was used in a funny manner by him. *Taaliyan bajti rehni chahiye, deviyo or sajanno* (A big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen)

When predators don’t realise they are being predatory.(Photo: Twitter/@kitanurag)

On the account of common courtesy not being that common, here’s a customary guide on how to sext to a woman and not be a predator while doing it:

A Guide to Not Being a Predator

1. Do Not Send a Picture of Your Genitals Unless Asked for Explicitly

Imagine you are eating, and suddenly, a not-so-pretty picture of a penis pops up on your phone. You did not ask for it, you are not comfortable with it, and will not be able to eat for the next few hours at least.

Don’t send such pictures until asked for in clear words.(Photo: iStock)

Unsolicited d*ck pics are something that most women of the present generation have encountered. Like the Kardashians, they are everywhere and you do not want to keep up with them.

In order to not be a predator, DO NOT SEND SUCH PICTURES UNLESS ASKED FOR IN WORDS. Do not consider a few friendly words as the license to harass a woman or an excuse to introduce her to your genitalia.

2. Do Not Ask for ‘Bob’ and ‘Vagene’ Pictures

By now it should be clear that genitals should be off limits unless you are extremely sure of consent. Reiterating that ‘body language’ or a friendly reply do not constitute that.

I can’t even remember the number of guys who have asked me “What are you wearing?” To fend them off, I would say shirt and track pants or something like that, and 100 percent of those times, the response in turn was, “I obviously meant on the inside. LOL”

Or, a random guy thinking it was okay to outright ask for sexual favours, and the minute you say no, you are "playing hard to get/are a b*tch/slut/thot.

Actual words need to be exchanged regarding consent before you do something like this. Even better, don’t do something like this! Because sooner or later, you will be held responsible, rightly so!

When you tell a woman that ‘Disney wali nahi, adult photo bhejo’, this is her reaction:

More often that not, it’s extremely disgusting(Gif: Giphy.com)

3. You Are Not Entitled to Anything, Especially To a Woman’s Body. Don’t Behave Like it.

‘No means no’

It will sound like a broken record because it’s been said so many times, but take the hint, boys!

If a girl refuses, listen, understand and let it be. Do not be a Class A entitled brat and push for it.

Pushing for it is never the way to go.(Photo: WhatsApp screenshots)

Just because a girl is on Tinder or has decided to reply to your DMs, do not think you have unprecedented access to her vagina.

Having a penis is not equal to entitlement. Let that sink in. Please.

4. Do Not Use Sickness/Being Drunk/ ‘My Dog is Sick’ As An Excuse for Your Behaviour

More often than not, the excuses used are very flimsy and don’t really make sense. The most common one being, ‘I was drunk’. Being drunk/sick is not a valid excuse for anything.

(Photo: Whatsapp Screenshot)

Blaming your mental/physical illness is a general disservice to anyone. It does not matter. It's using a sickness as a shield and that is just not done. If you think your behaviour is problematic, seek help.

A Pressing Question

Most of the movement is Twitter-centered, but there are a lot of predators out there, actually a lot of them, who are not on Twitter. What happens to them?

When will it be #TimesUp for them?