Retribution Or Reform: What Now, After #MeToo?

Women, now that India’s #MeToo Movement is here, what next for us?

India’s #MeToo Movement is here. 

(Photo: iStock/Altered by The Quint) 

It is here.

The prophesied revolution, the one that has been in the making for years. Did men not see it coming? I bet they did. Perhaps, in a bid to assuage the conscience, they refused to anticipate the inevitable.

The rage cannot and should NOT be suppressed anymore. A movement so fierce has mobilised that it has managed to not get overshadowed by the speed of the news cycle. I have never before seen Indian women come out so strongly against their perpetrators – their voices vivid and spirited.

October 2018 shall be remembered for the voices roaring out with rage, for ripping a worn-out, frayed band-aid off a social skin that was sore with wounds. Wounds that should never have been inflicted, leave alone be given time to heal. 

(Photo: iStock) 

Time’s up. Women are done. We’re not ready to apologise, endure, or put up with bullsh*t anymore.  More importantly, we are tired. It is exhausting to live a life, walking on eggshells planted by men, constantly living in fear of uninvited behaviour. We’ve regulated and policed ourselves enough around creeps, wishing to stay away from ‘trouble’. But amen to that. We’re reclaiming spaces, places, and our voices.   

Clearly, the offenders have missed the memo on cues.

Seemingly not very big on communication, they've come up with bizarre arguments in the past few days, ''I couldn't tell''; "I was confused". No sh*t.

Did you SKIP the first 16 to 17 years of your life and dive headlong into a weather-beaten world with a rudimentary understanding of communication?

(Photo: iStock)

Now, in a post #MeToo world, what are the possible choices we are left with, if at all the path ahead can be boiled down to a handful of choices?

1) Absolute social boycott: we write the offenders off forever, on and off social media, take them off the grid for good, and label their personal/professional cred as beyond redemption. I mean, we've stretched ourselves thin, bent over backwards, trying to invest in encounters/experiences that haven't given us any returns.

Maybe, time is absolutely UP for them? If yes, will this path serve as a strong deterrent for all men out there to keep away from misconduct?

OR

Partial social boycott: Take a break from each other! Let the ones at fault keep to themselves, introspect, and figure out where they have gone wrong all these years. Some time off the grid might just help put things in perspective.

2) Help them out, NOT defend them, by investing in a conversation: Not just with them, but with all men out there. Now that we've identified, called them out, and put our foot down, do we stop here? Why did their behaviour go so horribly wrong? What measures must be taken by each man to realise that each woman is her own person, with her own set of boundaries that regulate what is prohibited and what is permitted within the ambit of ‘comfort zones’. Post #MeToo, there is a NEED to delve into the grey areas and the difficult-to-define experiences.

If our ultimate aim is to exist in harmony despite conflicts, the conversation must be fair and include, explain, and figure the way forward, despite setbacks.

If history is any indication, the man’s introspection (unfortunately) needs assistance if we want to keep sharing the world with him.

Why should you care about ‘investing’ – your time, emotion and efforts – in an offender? Well, if I am allowed to hope against hope, change can start with one man or a couple of them, right?

(Photo: iStock) 

So, do we want to collectively take the responsibility of rehabilitation now that we have called them out? Are there any strikes left, given how it shouldn't be a woman's liability after having borne the weight of simply 'being a woman' all her life? Is she ready to sacrifice and take on this role for the 'greater good'?

Now that we are nearing a climax, the next important question, like I said, is this:

Reformation or Retribution?

This, however, does NOT mean that these are the only two alternatives. Women, each of you have your own say and you get to decide for yourself what you want to do. You don’t owe me, us, or anybody anything.

But, once we have our answers, the #MeToo movement in India will probably reach the next milestone.